Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
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My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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