he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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