Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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