**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
