Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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