He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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