Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
