Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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