Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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