Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
