I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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