I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
honey bunches of taint.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
