I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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