when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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