I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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