I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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