I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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