Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize