shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
