is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
