O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
