remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize