Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize