they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
