ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
