direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The struggles of a small town man whore
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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