She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
