sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
