After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
