I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
porn star boner night. come get it.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
