He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
