Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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