I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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