this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
