she kept yelling 'call me bella'
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
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Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
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He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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