She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
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