My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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