You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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