you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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