I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
