You're my little dorito
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
