ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
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We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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