At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
