i think my tv is drunk
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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