Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
