Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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