Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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