We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
