dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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