I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
