She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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