I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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