It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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