i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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