My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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