people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
