I hate all girls vehemently.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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