i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
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Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
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I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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