The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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