This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
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