This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
