well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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