When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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