Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize