i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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