Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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